Kingdom Hearts Insanity
by Ultimate Ganon
Summary: IT LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVES! Back by Popular Demand (and countless threats), the story you know and love has returned! It's the STORY THAT WOULDNT DIIIIIIIIIE! MUWAHAHAHAHAHA!
1. Default Chapter

Hello All. Please Forgive me for this story temporarily going Bye-Bye. Well, now it's back and better than ever! I hope to keep this story going, because you all seem to love me so much. Now, for my acceptance speech:  
  
*Walks up to stage and grabs Oscar Award shaped like a Keyblade*  
  
I will not accept this award until the wall that separates Germany is taken down!  
  
(Someone walks up to stage and whispers something in my ear)  
  
Me: ….I'd like to thank the Academy, and every person I've ever met in my life! Individually! *Dodges barrage of shoes* AAAAAAAAAH! Okay, never mind…You tolerate me! You really, really tolerate me! *Runs off stage as shoes fire like machinegun bullets*  
  
Okay! Fine! I'll just give you the story! Here you are, with no further a due…..  
  
KINGDOM HEARTS INSANITY!  
  
(turn page now) 


	2. Awakening

Kingdom Hearts: Oh No! Where's the Script?!   
  
   
  
Welcome, dear reader, to my very first Fanfic ever! Its pretty much the game without the script, so anything can (and will) happen. ^_^ I hope you enjoy it!!!   
  
Disclaimer: Hmmm....I have nothing to disclaim. I OWN Kingdom Hearts! GAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! *Kingdom Hearts workers tackle me to the ground yelling stuff like "GET HIM!"* AAAHHHHH!!!!!   
  
   
  
-------6 hours later-------   
  
Me: *under massive torture* Alright! Alright! I......dont own it!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!   
  
So, without further a due.... here it is!    
  
   
  
Kingdom Hearts Chapter 1: Awakening   
  
   
  
Sora: *floating in nothingness* I've been having these weird thoughts lately.... Like why are my shoes so big?   
  
Scene shifts to Island and fast version of Simple and Clean is playing   
  
Riku: *stands in water and faces Sora, then stretches out his arm*    
  
Sora: *Starts to run but trips and falls face-first into the water*   
  
Riku: Twit...Huh? *Sees wave coming at him* AAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!! *Is engulfed by wave*    
  
Sora (underwater): *sees Riku gagging and clutching throat* O_o *Resurfaces and runs to Kairi*   
  
Kairi: EEEK! Get away! You're all wet!!!!! *Sees Sora falling in the sky*    
  
Sora: O_o What the- *falls into water and lands on platform with Snow White*    
  
Words: //So much to do...So little time...//  Sora: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! *Jumps off platform and keeps falling*    
  
//You are a ninny, aren't you?!?!//   
  
Sora lands on same platform.   
  
//Now then...//   
  
Sora: What in God's name are you?!?!?!   
  
//I'm a group of Omnipotent Words or some strange voice that tells you things...//   
  
Sora: Okay...   
  
//Step forward. Can you do it?//   
  
Sora: Yeah!!!!! *Steps and trips on shoelace* WAAAAAAH! *Hits floor face first* X_X   
  
//Klutz//   
  
Sora: Not my fault!!!    
  
//Just choose a weapon.... you twit//   
  
Three pedestals appear. Sora chooses the sword.   
  
//The Sword.... You can chop people up like vegetables...    Is this the power you want?//   
  
Sora: ^_^ Sure!    
  
//What will you give up in return?//   
  
Sora: I gotta give up somthin?!?!   
  
//DO IT!!!!!!!//   
  
Sora: *sniffle*    
  
Sora picks up the Shield.   
  
//The Shield… You slap people around and make them go crying.... You wanna give this up?//    
  
Sora: Whatever...*plays with sword*    
  
//Your path is set...//   
  
Sora slices the words up with the sword.   
  
//Hey!//   
  
Sora: ^_^ heehee... *slices again*    
  
//Why you little...//   
  
The platform breaks and Sora falls on another.   
  
Sora: *falls flat on back* _ ARGH!!!   
  
//Ninny...You have gained the power to fight//   
  
A Shadow appears behind Sora.   
  
Sora: ^_^ Oh how cute!!!! *Hugs Shadow and it explodes* Awwww....   
  
//Idiot//   
  
Sora does a lot of things to open a door.    
  
//Now lets find out about yourself...//   
  
Sora: Well, my favorite food is muffins, I like to play wi-   
  
//Not that way. Answer some pointless questions//   
  
Scene shifts to Island, where Slephie and Waaka are hanging out.   
  
Sora: Where's Tidus?   
  
//Doing odd things with a frog//   
  
Sora: O_o Ewwwwww...   
  
//Here he comes//   
  
Tidus walks up and drops a frog in his pants.   
  
Tidus: Hey Sora! What is your opinion on frogs?   
  
Sora: Ewwwwwwwww.....*pushes Tidus off of platform*   
  
Tidus: AHHHHHHH!!!! *makes body imprint in sand*   
  
Waaka: Hey man. What are you afraid of man?   
  
Sora: *cringes*....Rainbows.....*sucks thumb*    
  
Slephie: Sora! What's the most important thing to you?   
  
Sora: My hair!   
  
//Okay.....you're weird. You're a wussy, and you are sacred of rainbows...//   
  
Sora: And teddy bears! WAAAAAAAAH!!!   
  
//Even weirder. But you do hate frog-molesters, and that's always a good thing. Is this the form you choose?//   
  
Sora:...You scare me too!   
  
//Twit...//   
  
Scene goes back to a platform where there is some light.    
  
//The closer you get to the light, the bigger your shadow becomes//   
  
Darkside appears.   
  
Sora: What is that thing?!?!?!   
  
//Your Shadow//   
  
Sora: So THAT is a reflection of me?!?!   
  
//Yes//   
  
Sora: My hair isn't THAT bad!!!!!   
  
//SHUT UP ABOUT THE @$%#&^* HAIR!!!//   
  
Sora: ;_; you're mean...   
  
Darkside reaches into ground to pull out shadow ball.   
  
Sora: *grabs strand of that thick hair stuff wrapped around Darkside's face* I'll show you whose hair is better! *pulls strand out*    
  
Darkside: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! *falls on Sora*   
  
Sora: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!   
  
Everything goes black...   
  
   
  
So how'd ya like it? I know, its probably kinda lame, but I hope you enjoyed it! Please review it! Until next chapter, Cya! 


	3. Destiny IslandOH THE INSANITY!

Welcome back Dear Reader! I love you all...*sniffle*...Thank you for reviewing my story thus far! There have been countless demands of doing this chapter quickly, so viola! Im geeting it done!  
  
By the way.....I have a sure-fire plan that will get me to own Kingdom Hearts! Behold......  
  
Me: Hey Mr. KH Worker! Can I own Kingdom Hearts?  
  
KH Worker: No.  
  
Awwww.....well that didnt work. Anyway, on to chapter three!  
  
Kingdom Hearts Chapter Three: Traverse Town  
  
The scene is Donald and Goofy walking down the street of Traverse Town. Goofy spots something.....  
  
Goofy: *looks up* Look! A star's goin' out!  
  
A star (And we all know what THAT star is ^_^) blinks, then goes out.  
  
Goofy: We'd better find Leon and fast! *sees Pluto wander off* Hey Donald...I betcha that-  
  
Donald: What do you know ya big palooka!  
  
Goofy: *goes teary eyed* Palooka? *gets mad* AAAAARGH!!!! *runs at Donald* AAAAAAARGH!!!!!  
  
Donald: *does that scream of his and runs for dear life*  
  
Scene shifts to an alleyway, where Pluto licks Sora.  
  
Sora: Uhnn....what a dream...*sees Pluto* AAAAAAAH! *kicks Pluto to the End of the Game* Where am I?  
  
With that, Sora begins to explore. Silly Sora.  
  
Sora: *walks into the Accesory Shop* Woah......pretty stuff!  
  
Cid: Hi how can I help- *sees Sora* Oh, its just a kid.  
  
Sora: Whats THAT supposed to mean! *takes Keyblade and swings, nearly knocking out Cid*  
  
Cid: Okay! Okaaaaaaaay! Dont hurt me! Here! Take my munny, take the stuff, just dont hurt me!!!!!  
  
Sora: O_o Im not tryin to rob you, I just wanna know where this is. Im not a kid, Im Sora!  
  
Cid: *giggles* Thats a girl's name!  
  
Sora: Gaaaaaaaaaaanon! Can you make him shut up?  
  
Sora: Back to the gutters?  
  
Sora: No......cookie?  
  
Sora: Okaaaaaaaay....we'll be good! We promise!  
  
Cid: (to himself) remember the cookie, remember the cookie...(to Sora) Okay, this is Traverse Town. Were in the Accesory Shop. I'm Cid. There, satisfied?  
  
Sora: Do you sell muffins?  
  
Cid: No.  
  
Sora: Aww.......Okay. *tells his story to Cid* ...And somehow, I ended up here. Can you help me?  
  
Cid: Hmm...Your story makes my heart heavy and my prostate weak. My bladder is full to bursting. However, I cannot help you.  
  
Sora: Please, Cid, I emplore you to reconsider!  
  
Cid: Hm...Okay! The man you seek, his na-  
  
Cid: Sorry.....  
  
Cid: Alright! *grumble, grumble* Why not explore around? But dont go too far. Second and Third District are vey nice this time of year!  
  
Sora: Thanks! ^_^ *runs out of Accesory Shop*  
  
Cid: Oh, did I say 'nice'? I meant dangerous! GAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!  
  
Cid: ^_^  
  
At Second District,  
  
Sora: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!  
  
As you can problably tell, he's being chased by Heartless. He tried to hug one of them, but these are armored Heartless, and it just scratched him up. Poor, silly Sora.  
  
Sora: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!  
  
Sora is to stupid to do the simple math: Keyblade + Heartless = Uh....No more Heartless! So he runs into the Hotel. Well, as fate would have it, Donald and Goofy waltz right into Second District at thaty very monent....  
  
Donald: Mr. Leon? Where are you?  
  
Goofy: Lets check everywhere!  
  
And this keeps up for another hour or so. Sora goes in one place, Donald and Goofy come out the other. Until finally, Sora goes back to First District...  
  
Sora: When I get my hands on that old shopkeeper Im gonna-  
  
Leon: *steps out from behind wall* They'll come at you from nowhere.  
  
Sora: O_o who are you?  
  
Leon: They'll never stop, so long as you woeld the Keyblade...  
  
Sora: Huh? What are you talking about? You scare me...  
  
Leon: But why? Why would it choose a kid like you?  
  
Sora: Oh now I see! Youre the Muffin Man! ^_^  
  
Leon: 0_o No Im not! Im- No matter. Now lets see that Keyblade...  
  
Sora: ^_^ Sure! I'm your biggest fan Muffin Man! I love you! I'll do anything for you!  
  
Leon: I am NOT the Muffin Man!!!!!!  
  
Sora: 0_0 Your not....? ;_; WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! Then you cant have the Keyblade!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Leon: sighgulp  
  
Leon: Its Leon.  
  
Sora: *sees Keyblade* The Keyblade...  
  
Yuffie: Yeah, we had to get it away from you to get the Heartless away form you. Turns out thats how they were tracking you.  
  
Leon: Hard to belive that a little kid is the chosen one. *picks up Keyblade*  
  
Sora: Hard to belive that Im in the presence of the Muffin Man! ^_^  
  
Keyblade goes back to Sora  
  
Sora: Eh? *tries to shake Keyblade off of hand, but the Keyblade wont leave his hand at all* GET IT OOOOOOFF!!!!!!!!  
  
Leon: I guess beggars cant be choosers.....  
  
Sora: I wanna muffin....  
  
In the next room,  
  
Arieth: Okay, so you know that there are other worlds besides the Castle and this town, right?  
  
Donald: (in a body bandage and bed) (muffled voice) Yeah.  
  
Goofy: But theyre supposed to be a secret!  
  
Arieth: Theyve been secret because theyve never been connected until now. When the Heartless came, everything changed.  
  
Next room,  
  
Sora: Heartless?  
  
Squa-er, Leon: Those without hearts. They feed on the darkness in ones heart, and there is darkness within every heart.  
  
Yuffie: Hey, have you heard of a guy named Ansem?  
  
Next Room,  
  
Goofy: Ansem?  
  
Arieth: He was studying the Heartless. He recorded his findings in a very detailed report.  
  
Goofy: Gwarsh, uh, can we see it?  
  
Donald: (muffled voice) Its time for my medicine!  
  
Arieth: The pages were scattered everywhere.  
  
Goofy: Maybe the King went to find em!  
  
Donald: Hellooooooooo?  
  
Arieth: Those were my thoughts exactly.  
  
Goofy: We gotta find him quick!  
  
Donald: WAWAAWAWAWAWAWAWAWA!!!!!! We gotta find the Key, and I NEED MY ADVIL!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Next room,  
  
Sora: So this is the key.....I wanna muffin!!!!!!  
  
Leon: Thats it, this conversation is over!!!  
  
Sora: But-  
  
Leon: Youll need to fight for your life soon, are you ready?  
  
Sora: Muffin?  
  
Heartless appear,  
  
Leon: Yuffie, GO!  
  
Yuffie: *Run thru door and flattens a just-got-better Donald*  
  
Outside,  
  
Leon: Dont worry about the small fry, just find the leader!  
  
Sora: You mean the Big Potato?  
  
Leon: uh.....yeah, I guess. *runs off*  
  
Sora makes his way to Third District, where up on a ledge,  
  
Goofy: Are these the Heartless guys?  
  
Donald: Lets go get em, Goofy!  
  
Goofy: Kay! *destroys Heartless* That was easy! *trips over something, causing them both to fall*  
  
Donald and Goofy land on Sora, and they spend several hours lying there unconcience. When they wake up,  
  
Donald/Goofy: The Key!  
  
The boss appears, who strangley resembles a Potato version of the Gaurd Armor...  
  
Sora: The Big Potato!  
  
After dying and seeing all that played over again 20 thousand times, they finally beat it.  
  
Leon: *runs up* Sora, you did it!  
  
And so, Donald, Goofy, and Sora meet and make friends. Little known to them, they are being watched...  
  
In a dark room,  
  
Hades: That kid beat that Heartless! Who'd have thought it? I mean, that thing was HUGE! Do you know how hard it was for me to sculpt a Heartless out of Potato?  
  
Jaffar: Such is the power of the Keyblade. The child's strength is not his own. After all, all you have to do is chop it up into Potato Chips.  
  
Capitan Hook: And the boy's friends are the kings lackeys. Swoogle me eyes, theyre all blige rats by the look of them!  
  
Jaffar: Thats because you're pointing the magic cauldren camera at sewer rats!  
  
Hook: Oh....*points camera at Sora and co.* They still look kinda.....not hero type.  
  
Oogie Boogie: Youre no prize yourself. And what in Ansem's name is swoogle anyway?  
  
Hook: Er....I think....I.....Shut up!  
  
Maleficent: Enough! Swoogle is-  
  
Maleficent: Alright!.....Will that boy conquer the Darkness? Or will-  
  
Hook: What IS a swoogle anyway?  
  
Hades: *rolls eyes and points towards Hook* He has Swoogle Issues  
  
Hook: Moogie Shmoogie!  
  
I  
  
Back in Traverse Town,  
  
Leon: Here, take some munny. Youll need it. Spend it how you see fit. Take care of each other. *hands Soran and co. 100 munny*  
  
Sora: I know exacly ho Im gonna spebd my share!  
  
Goofy: Maybe we should split up and buy stuff! Ill go with Donald!  
  
Everyone: Kay!  
  
A few hours later,  
  
Donald: Lets see, weve got Potions, Ethers, ans a few Elixers. I wonder what Sora got?  
  
They find Sora in the Resteraunt, where all heck has broke loose!  
  
Sora: I DEMAND MORE MUFFINS!  
  
Waiter: But Sir – youve already had thirteen! *anime style sweatdrop*  
  
Sora: You see this Keyblade? Do ya? Well your gonna see it a LOT closer if I DONT GET MORE MUFFINS!!!!! *swings Keyblade aimlessly* MORE!!! MOOOOORE!!!!!!!  
  
It takes a while, but Donald and Goofy drag him out of there. Actually, they had to knock him out. Either way, theyre off to a new world in their Gummi Ship. God help them...  
  
Oh Oh! A BAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRIIIERRRRRR!!!!  
  
Well, how was it? I hope you enjoyed it. Sorry it took so long to finish, and sorry that I forgot the meeting with the Cloaked dude in the last chapter. Im gonna edit that in later, too lazy to do it now. Once again, sorry for the delay. Cya soon! 


End file.
